I saw him. 12/17/08

I saw him.

After ages of not being able to see each other.

I saw him.

Just when I thought our pathways will never again cross,

I saw him.

I have never been able to utter a word when,

I saw him.

Would he even care to notice that

I saw him?

Could it be joy amidst the stars that I felt?
Or could it be dead stars that just flickered in my eyes when

I saw him?

Does he care?
Do I still care?

Had it done me any good to see him?

Mere coincidence? Divine intervention? What?

Why do I need to see him in the first place?


Now, Christmas season for me is bittersweet.

a poem to sum it up.

Just got this poem from a friend's blog. It was a composition of neither the two of us. She actually forgot the source where she found it. May the good author of this poem forgive me for posting it without due permission and information. Nevertheless, it's amazing <3



How's and Why's

How do I say goodbye to a love that never came
Admit inside that I only have myself to blame
How can I miss someone that I was never with
And wish someday that we may never meet

How do I lose someone that was never mine
And just pretend everything’s turning out fine
How do I leave someone who was never by my side
And cover up the bitterness that I’m trying to hide

Why do I stay afar as I quietly watch
Someone whom I could see but I can never touch
How do I end something before it even starts
When can I answer strange questions of the heart

Why must my teardrops fall for someone that was never sad to leave
And just accept the fact that he will never be mine no matter how much I give
How can I continue on despite knowing the cruel fact
No matter what I do he cannot love me back…

Oh yes.. Emoness attacks again. Don't worry, I'm not that desperate anymore. Promise. =)

what's up? +-+

Oh my notepad! Before anything else, I'd like to acknowledge the ever-patient and ever-present company of my notepad application in this pc. Without you, I can't imagine life being a blogger. Thank you! :D

Reversibrae

I never had given much thought on the way I'd die, nor when its gonna happen. Death seems to be a far entity for me. We've not yet faced each other in any occassion whatsoever.

But if ever I'd be able to choose my course of death, I guess it'd be this pain and deep confusion within me. There'd be no other sweeter way of killing me - but to leave me awestruck with the toxic that continuously creeps through my every bleeding vessel.

But instead of numbing me and leaving me lifeless, it continues to light the flame that burns through my senses and pumps me living amidst all circumstances. First I thought, it'd eventually subside, and then, I could experience life reincarnated. But then, it didn't. It continues to grow fiery more than ever, keeping my very soul and every sense awake - vigilant of its source.

I hate it to admit. But what can I do?

I can feel it, with every step, every nook.
I can see it, every corner where I look.
I can taste it, every piece and every bit.
I can smell it, every breath I try to keep.

I guess, though its my way of reversal death, it will also be the one that'd pace the rhythm of my heartbeat. It'll always be an injected part of my system. A system that would from now on be a stamp on my genes and an agent of my bloodstream. I think I would never be washed clean from it. But I don't consider it filth. Though its pain it is causing, it's an ordeal I have to go through while praying faithfully for a boon. A boon whose fulfilment is wandering on my vicious dreams. Dreams whose grant is certainly out-of-my-reach.

--wahaha,, emo-ness attack! That you've read is a unified construction of my stray thoughts while I look outside from the jeepney window on my way home.. :))--

--just letting thoughts out. t_t never mind.