My heart says: "Let it go.."

Hopeless romantic. That's how one tickle test result described me. Romantic. Yes. Hopeless. Indeed. Am one of the many unattractive girls who dream of a fairytale love story but eventually find themselves wallowing in self-pity after realizing that fairy tales don't really happen and Prince Charming doesn't really exist.

Oh, what a t-r-a-g-e-d-y.

I knew it. This is how the story would go. Nothing exciting would really happen when it comes to my "love" story. Maybe I'm not such an interesting person after all.

But what do I really expect to happen? Fish some Mr. Right out there? Wait to bump on his back on a very unlikely place like the MRT for example? Sheer desperation?..

Nah.

This is the main reason why I hate being a teenager. I object being governed by my emotions. But what do I do? How do I get rid of the only thing I have - feelings for that matter?

In my Multiply blog, it was not just once that i've mentioned my detest for "emotional hardcore/emo's". They're pointless for me. But what am I doing now? Isn't it a sign of me nearing -emoness-??

Oh wait. I have to hold on to my seat before I fall off completely. Where are my principles? I miss them. They've abandoned my loneliness and wandered off somewhere. Oh gosh, I'm totally washed off my being.

Oh emoness+emotions.. LEAVE ME ALONE!

I don't want to be like this. I'm in a somewhat state of drug addiction. I desperately need some rehabilitation. Where am I going to find myself again. I'm infested with this stupid crushing syndrome... the heck!

No.. no.. you don't understand.. don't think that i'm ever overreacting, you've been a teenager also once in your life or maybe you are at this point in time. You might as well understand what I feel.

You know why I feel this way? Because we're roughly two weeks away from graduation. And the hardest of it all is the farewell/parting. I'm not duely bothered of saying goodbye to my close friends, I'll be seeing most of them in the university. Sure for some, I'll be having their contact info and still be in touch with them for some way or another... but him? What about him? Maybe our last meeting would be our graduation since my mom has been thinking twice recently about not letting me attend the gradball.

Oh such a bitter day that'd be!

I wish it'd never come.

Or I wish I'd never feel it come.

That's it for now.

P.S. By the way, our JS prom has been held at the manila hotel just last week.. I'll update with the other details some other time.

But you see it was an uneventful night.

__take care___ ^-^